Silver Part 8

2003

The next morning Tori, Surge and I were telling Silver about the past couple days while Jess entertained herself with a little deck of cards she carried around with her. We had just gotten to the part where the cops showed up at the old church when Silver interrupted us.

"I saw that," he said through a stream of cigarette smoke. "I was nearby when the police drove up. I wasn't close enough to tell why."

"We couldn't tell that, either," Tori said. She sat back from looking down off the edge of the roof where we were sitting and looked at Silver. "Erin thought it might be that the lab psychos have the cops out looking for us, but Surge said that was ridiculous."

Silver's face remained impassive. He was wearing the shades Surge had given him, making it downright impossible to guess what he was thinking.

"Whyever they were there, we thought we should be extra careful of the cops for awhile," I said. I brushed my hair out of my face and tried to convince it to stay behind my back. My braid had been a mess so I'd finally given up on it and put my hair in a ponytail instead (which had been difficult enough), and now whenever there was a breeze I was finding strands of it in my face. "That's about it. So where've you been?"

"And don't just tell us 'around,'" Surge said.

Silver took a long drag and slowly blew out the smoke. "I spent the first night in the library itself," he said, his tone expressionless as always. "I sneaked into a locked storage room before the library closed. I came out after everyone had left, and while I was looking around I found a paper behind the desk that had the codes for the warehouse. I've been concentrating on lying low. I was out looking for something to eat and I decided to go by the church when I saw the police cars. I didn't stay long. After that I was looking for you."

"Is that why you happened to be in the alley?" Surge asked.

Silver nodded, taking another drag on his cigarette.

I'd been idly watching the street when something caught my attention. "Hey guys, look," I said as I pointed at a small group of people across the street, "is that those guys from the old church?"

"You mean the jerks?" Tori said as she sat up to look. "I can't tell from here."

"Yes, that's them," Silver said.

"Do you think they'll see us up here?"

Silver shrugged.

"Let's go anyway," I suggested. "Besides, I want to talk to Erin."

Erin had stayed back in the warehouse with Jimmy when the rest of us left. She had said there was enough food there and if nobody was going to come into the warehouse during the day then she didn't see the point of leaving.

Jess said she wanted to come back with me, but Tori and Surge decided to they should go do some scavenging. Silver didn't say anything but followed Tori and Surge.

"I like your hair out of the braid," Jess told me as we neared the warehouse.

I chuckled. "I don't. It keeps getting in the way." I checked to make sure we wouldn't be seen and then went over to the door and keyed in the codes Silver had given us.

"Then why do you keep it so long?"

I shrugged and held the door open for her. "I guess I just don't like cutting it."

We found Erin in the back with Jimmy, looking through an old children's book.

"So how're you doing?" I asked her, in a tone that I hoped said that I knew she wasn't exactly fine.

Erin looked at me and sighed, then closed the book and handed it to her son. "Jimmy, why don't you go with Jess and see if you can find any more of these books?"

"Awwww!" Jimmy huffed and gave her an imploring look. "But Momma. . . ."

"Go on and let us talk for awhile."

"No, I don't want to!" He threw the book to the floor. "I don't want to go find any more stupid books!"

"James Alexander, don't you talk to me that way!" Erin gave his behind a swat before turning him around and giving him a light push toward the door. "Go!"

"Come on Jimmy, I'll teach you a card game," Jess said helpfully.

Jimmy stomped out, giving me a glare on the way by. I shut the door after him and then sat down across from Erin.

"You know it's none of your business, Eddie," Erin said, sounding more tired than angry.

"Is it my business to watch you let yourself get sick? You can't hide it, Erin. You've got no energy and you're hardly eating anything and you've been even bitchier than normal."

"Thanks," she said wryly.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah . . . yeah, I do. I wish I could tell you what was wrong, though. I just don't feel right."

"How so?"

"I don't know. Sometimes it feels like my stomach hurts, but not like it does when I'm sick. Most of the time I just feel . . . off. I really don't know how to describe it."

I was quiet for a moment before I said, "I thought you said they didn't do anything to you."

"I thought they didn't."

I leaned back against the wall, not knowing what to say.

"I guess neither of us got off easy, did we?" Erin said.

"No. I guess not," I said. "Do you have any idea what you're going to do?"

Erin picked at a spot on the carpet and didn't say anything for awhile. "Maybe I've been here too long," she said, softly.

"Hm?"

"Jimmy's six now, he should be in school. I shouldn't be raising him on the streets. And what if something does happen to me? What does Jimmy do then? There might not always be someone like you around who's willing to take care of him. And now with Mike gone, I. . . . Something could happen to me at any time, y'know?"

"So what are you going to do?" I asked again.

"I don't know . . . what would you do, in my place?"

I sighed and chewed my lip. "Find a shelter, maybe."

"I've never liked those places. They're always so crowded."

"I know . . . but what other choice do you have if you don't want to stay on the streets?"

"If it were just me. . . ." She drifted off, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "But that's the problem, isn't it. It's not just me." She dropped the hem and sighed. "I just need to think about things, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." I stood, brushing my hair back over my shoulder when it fell forward. When I looked up again Erin was giving me a bemused smile. "What?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you without your braid," she said, "except maybe when you were combing your hair out. You look different with it like that."

"Yeah, well," I said, running my hand along my ponytail, "it's annoying loose like this, but I couldn't get it braided with my left arm the way it is."

"How is your arm, anyway?"

"My shoulder doesn't hurt anymore," I admitted, "but I'm kinda afraid to use it."

I went out and sat down with my back against the corner of a shelf and watched Jess play cards with Jimmy. The game seemed to be going fine until Jess corrected Jimmy on a rule. He threw the cards down and stomped over to the other side of the room. I debated about going over there. Before I could decide Erin came out and went to talk to her son. Jess finished putting the cards back in their box and came to sit down next to me, leaning against my shoulder.

After a moment she shifted and started fiddling with my hair. "You really don't like it like this?"

"No, not really," I said, absently. My hair wasn't one of my main concerns at the moment.

"Want me to braid it for you?"

I smiled and shrugged. "All right." I scooted forward to give her room to work.

Erin and Jimmy had gone back into the office. I could hear them talking, but not very well. I was both trying to and trying not to listen in.

"I wish my hair was as long as yours," Jess said, interrupting my eavesdropping.

"Don't cut it for over ten years," I said.

"But that's forever," she complained. "It's longer than I've even been alive."

I smiled again, remembering back a lifetime ago when I used to feel that way. "It's not so long once it's past."

"If you say so." She tied off the end of the braid and then placed it in front of my shoulder. "There."

I ran my hand along the braid. It somehow made me feel better to have my hair back as it should be. "You're an excellent hairstylist, Jess," I said. She giggled and gave me a hug.

Before long the others came back and we all had something to eat. They hadn't had much luck, they said, but they'd also been trying to avoid the guys from the church, who had seemed to be wandering around everywhere.

Silver kept quiet, letting Tori and Surge do the talking. Erin kept watching him as we ate, but every time he stared back she would look away.

"We did go by the church and there didn't seem to be anyone watching it," Surge was saying, "so it might be safe for us to go back there after all—"

"I dunno," Erin cut in. "The cops were already there once."

"Yeah, but you think they'll really spend their time watching it when—huh?"

Silver suddenly grabbed Surge's arm and hissed, "Shhh!"

We all froze, and after a few seconds heard someone moving around outside. I don't think anyone in the room breathed, even when we heard the nearby dumpster open and the clatter of something being thrown in.

It was quiet for a few moments and I looked at Silver. He seem to still be listening intently. Then he carefully, quietly stood and looked out the window. "He's gone back to the library," he said finally.

"Are you absolutely sure no one's going to find us here?" Erin said.

Silver shook his head.

"Uh . . ." Tori said, "was that 'no' as in 'no one's going to find us,' or 'no' as in you're not sure?"

"No, I'm not sure," Silver answered. "No one's been in here for a long time, but that doesn't mean no one ever will be."

Erin rested her head in her hand.

"Y'know, this place is great and all—" Surge started.

"—Especially the working bathroom," Tori interrupted.

Surge shot her a glare. "—But maybe we really should find somewhere else."

"Like where?" I said. "Didn't we have this discussion last night?"

"Yeah, but we were tired then," Surge pointed out. "And I still think we might be able to go back to the church."

"Maybe." Something about the old church seeming so available bothered me.

We all fell silent for a time. Erin looked up and watched Jimmy play with a sheet. Then she sighed, and said, quietly, "Anyone know where the nearest shelter is?"

Surge snorted. "A shelter? Why would you—"

Tori frowned and hit his shoulder. "Why do you think she wants to find one?"

"Ow, geez, sorry."

Jimmy abandoned the sheet, which was now bunched into a little nest, and walked over. "Momma? Are we really going to one of those places where they check you in and out at the door?"

"Yeah, maybe," Erin said.

Jimmy frowned. "I thought you said you hated those places. You said you didn't like somebody keeping track of you coming and going."

"I don't, but . . . it's sounding a lot better than some other places we could be."

"Why?"

"Four walls and a roof and somewhere to sleep where we don't have to worry about the cops, for starters."

"But—"

"Shhh!" Silver hissed again.

This time it was two people, talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but they stopped in front of the door. I couldn't think beyond oh shit oh shit now they're going to call the cops.

Silver waved his hand to get our attention and then pointed to the back office. We moved as fast as we could without making noise. At the last second I saw Jimmy's sheet and grabbed it.

Silver pushed the door nearly shut and stood by the crack to listen. We heard the front door opened and the voices got louder.

". . . All of the older books that we don't have space for in the main building," we could hear someone saying. "Some of them are worth money, but some of them are just ones that we couldn't get rid of at book sales. Most of them are still in the catalogue and we still check them out from time to time."

"Why isn't that shelf in the back covered like the others?"

There was a brief pause and all I could hear was my heart pounding. I was just waiting for them to come back here and discover us.

"Maybe someone was looking for a book and forgot to cover the shelf again," the first person said. "I dunno, that's odd. Anyway, there's an office in the back," I think my heart actually skipped a beat then, "where our cataloguer would work if we still had one. We haven't had the funding for our own cataloguer in years."

"Is that why the books are all shipped from the county office?"

"Yeah. Waste of time if you ask me. . . ." Their voices faded and we heard the door shut.

We waited a few seconds more, then Silver cautiously opened the office door. After he confirmed that it was empty, he went out to the main room and looked out one of the windows. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.

"That's it, that's it," Erin was saying, "we can't stay here."

"No shit," Surge said, sounding more than a little shaken.

"Who's for leaving as soon as we're sure those guys are gone?" Tori said.

I followed the others out to the main room and tossed Jimmy's sheet in a back corner. "Hey, Surge . . ." I said. When he turned I continued. "Was the church boarded up more than it had been before?"

"Yeah, looked like the boards on the front door were nailed back into place. Why?"

I frowned. "Was there a notice on the door? Anything that wasn't there before."

"I didn't get close enough to see. Why are you asking? It looked pretty much like it did before, only without the people."

"That's what's bothering me. You haven't been on the streets for very long, have you?"

"Nearly a year," he said, almost defensively.

"But you've spent most of that time at The Pit. And Tori, same with you, right?"

"Yeah," Tori admitted, "but what's that got to do with anything?"

"If it were still safe people would've come back by now. When the cops raid a squat they don't usually leave it wide open for anyone else to start living there. I've had a few squats raided before I came to The Pit and we always had to find other places to stay."

"Same thing's happened to me," Erin added. "Cops don't like squats."

Surge folded his arms and glowered off to the side. Tori was frowning thoughtfully. Silver was standing by the front door, watching us without commenting.

"Brood on it later," Erin said, taking Jimmy's hand and starting for the door. "Let's just go."

We stopped at the park to decide what to do. I realized that we'd all gotten spoiled by The Pit; we'd forgotten what it was like to truly live on the streets. Some of us, I think, had never known.

Tori and Surge told us again what ground they had covered and we decided to range farther out. The mall seemed like a good place to start, so we split into two groups from there, with Surge going with Erin and Jimmy, and Tori, Jess, Silver and I going another direction. Erin hadn't said anything, but the looks she had been giving Silver made it clear she didn't want to be around him. The rest of us didn't argue.

"She distrusts me," Silver said a few minutes after we left.

Tori looked at him, startled. "Why would she not trust you?"

Silver only looked at her through his shades. I rolled my eyes. Tori hadn't done a convincing act of not understanding.

"I don't fault her for it," he continued.

I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and put my hand on Silver's shoulder. "Okay, where are you going with this? I'm tired of trying to guess what you're thinking."

He stared at me for a moment. "I'm not sure what you mean," he said. The note of genuine confusion in his voice was so subtle I almost missed it.

"Why bring it up?" I said. "We can all see that Erin's uncomfortable around you. What are you trying to say?"

He studied me a moment more, then said "It was an observation," and shrugged off my hand. "We should keep going."

Awhile later we were talking to a boy of no more than fourteen or fifteen on a street corner. He was slightly high, but he told us of several possible places.

As we were leaving he turned to Silver and smiled. "Hey buddy—great hair. Bet that'd lure a lot of tricks." Then he turned back to the passing cars.

For a second I was afraid Silver was going to take offence, but he only stared at the kid and then caught up with us.

Late in the afternoon we stopped to take a break. We had checked out a couple places, and were deciding whether or not we had time to do much more before we were supposed to meet Erin and Surge. Tori pointed out that we also needed to get more food.

"That reminds me," I said. "Silver, do you still have those remote pieces?" He nodded. "Great—there's a place near here where we could sell them."

"Do we have to now?" Jess complained.

"You know we need the money, Jess," Tori snapped. "Stop whining about it."

"I'm not. I just don't want to walk any more. Besides, we have to go meet up with everybody."

"She does have a point," I said. "Even if she is whining." Jess gave me a dirty look. "We might not have time to now."

"Then when?" Tori said. "Walk all the way back here after dark?"

"We don't all have to go," Silver pointed out.

"Well . . . true," Tori said. "I guess I could take Jess and head for the mall."

Silver studied her for a second, then said, "But you would rather not."

She shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"I could take her."

"You—but I thought you'd be going to sell the pieces. I mean, it's your stuff, right?"

Silver shook his head. "Not really."

I snorted. "You're offering to meet up with Erin. You really don't want to go with us to sell them, do you?"

He just looked at me.

"Who cares?" Jess said. "Let's just go."

"No, now, wait a minute," Tori said. "Why don't you want to go?"

Silver looked at her, then shrugged. "I don't like people. I'd rather not interact with strangers unless it's necessary."

"It's getting later and later, guys," I pointed out.

"Yeah, okay," Tori said. "Yeah, I guess this works."

Silver took a small plastic bag out of his pocket and handed it to me, then he and Jess started for the mall. Before they'd gone far Jess slipped her hand into his. He snapped his head around and paused for maybe half a second, but he didn't pull his hand away.

"Odd boy," Tori remarked as we headed for the electronics supply store. "Do you think the reason he doesn't want to go really is because he's reclusive?"

"I would've said 'shy,' but yeah."

The front part of the electronics store was legitimate; the back was less so, and that's where we headed. We sold the parts easily. The guy probably ripped us off, but we got enough money to last us for awhile.

When we came back out to the main part of the store Tori grabbed my arm. Unfortunately she was on my left, so I didn't notice until she stopped moving and my arm stopped with her. "What?"

She pointed to someone just leaving the store: a teenager in ragged clothes who looked disturbingly familiar.

"Coincidence?" she asked. "Maybe?"

"I hope so." I couldn't see any reason why the guys from the church would want to find us, but even so I was worried.

The sun was setting so we were hurrying toward the mall. We were about halfway there, cutting across a part of the industrial area, streets that got some traffic but few pedestrians. If either of us had been thinking we would have taken the long way around.

"Where's your freaky little friend?"

We stopped when he cut in front of us. "Leave us alone," I said.

"Why should we?" he said. That's when I noticed his friend coming up from behind us, along the edge of the street.

"What do you want?" Tori said. "We didn't do anything to you."

"You came into our squat," the guy said. I didn't smell any alcohol on him, but there was something odd about his behavior that was making me uneasy. "We never had any trouble. And then the cops show up, right after that stuck-up little freak takes off."

"Our friend got arrested, too, y'know," I pointed out. "Maybe your friend fucked up."

"Eric was too smart for that," he insisted. "Either your friend was the one who fucked up, or that freaky kid set them up." He paused and smiled "Seemed to me he didn't get along well with your other friend."

"You're talking out of your ass." I tried to maneuver to the side to get around him but he cut us off again.

"Oh, I don't think so."

The other one was closing in on us. "Maybe you were all in on it. You sure met up with the metallic-haired kid awfully fast."

"Give me a break," Tori said. "He was heading back to the church when the cops showed up and he saw us leaving. He just needed some time to cool off and then he was coming back." I was glad that she was better at stretching the truth that I was. "That doesn't mean he had anything to do with the cops being there."

The two of them kept advancing on us, herding us back toward the buildings.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is, but we don't want any trouble," I insisted.

The first guy just laughed. "Maybe you should have thought of that before this started."

"We didn't have anything to do with it!"

They came at us before we had time to think. One of them grabbed Tori's arm while the other slammed into me. I stumbled over some boxes set out for collection and fell. I pushed myself to my feet just as Tori kneed the guy who'd grabbed her. He bent double, and the other one made a move toward her, but before I could help her someone grabbed my braid and pulled me backward, almost sending me to the ground again. Then something small and hard was pressed into the small of my back, and I froze.

"I wouldn't, Tori," said a familiar, smug voice, "unless you want Eddie here to suffer some more nerve damage. His shoulder was nothing."

Tori gasped and backed away, and this time only gave a token struggle when one of the guys grabbed her and pulled her toward a small cross street, little more than an alley between the buildings.

"I always said you should cut this silly thing," Jake said, tugging on my braid to get me to move. "I'd cut it for you now but it's so convenient to hold onto." He giggled, and I suddenly realized why the behavior of the first guy had been so unnerving. It was a lot like the way Jake acted when he was high.

"I thought they dumped you," I said as he maneuvered me toward the cross street. "I thought they had no more use for you."

"What?" he said in mock surprise. "They'd never abandon me. It just. . . ." He hesitated, sounding uncertain. "It just took them awhile to find me."

"So how'd he scam you guys?" Tori asked as she reluctantly followed the guys from the church.

"They're my new friends," Jake answered for them. "Met them yesterday night. They agreed to help me . . . and I help them."

"You get them hooked on your designer drugs, you mean," I muttered.

"Jake hooked us up real good," one of them said. I don't think he'd heard me and I had a hysterical urge to laugh. "He knows how to get some real sweet stuff."

We stopped just around the corner, against the side of the building. Jake had pulled the gun away from my back and from the sound of it was fumbling for something in his pocket. Before he could find whatever it was one of his new friends shouted and pointed. Just getting to the sidewalk from crossing the street was Silver, with Surge several feet behind him.

"Little shit's not getting me this time," Jake hissed as he jerked me to the side and brought the up gun. I heard Tori scream as he fired off three shots. Silver dove to the ground and rolled up against the front of the building, out of sight. Surge ducked down where he stood on the edge of the street.

The shots were wild—I doubt Silver would have been hit even if he'd stood still—and the bullets struck an oncoming car. One hit a tire, and one hit the windshield on the passenger side, and the car swerved sharply toward the sidewalk.

Surge had barely straightened up before the car hit him. I could only watch as he was flung over the hood and into the air. The car rode up halfway onto the sidewalk before it stopped.

Jake's hold on my braid had loosened, and he seemed as stunned as the rest of us. He just stood there, the gun half-lowered, stammering. "I didn't—he wasn't—I never meant—"

I twisted and drove my elbow into his face. He dropped the gun and fell back into the wall, and slid to the ground. I took a quick glance around and saw that Silver was just getting to Surge, and Tori was running over. The guys from the church were staring at the scene with their mouths hanging open.

I kicked the gun away and it slid in among the boxes of trash. Jake was sitting against the wall with his hands up to his bloodied nose. I found myself hoping I'd broken it. He looked up at me, and must have seen something in my expression because he was suddenly trying to scramble away. I grabbed the front of his coat and hauled him up, then slammed him into the wall. "You fucking asshole!" I screamed at him.

"I—I never meant—Surge—he wasn't—"

I slammed him into the wall again. "You had no problem with shooting at Silver!"

"Because he's—"

I backhanded him, sending him to the ground.

The guys from the church were already edging down the side street. I heard one of them mutter something about the cops getting here any minute. Jake scrambled to his feet, and followed the younger guys as they ran off. I turned and went the other way.

Surge was lying half on the curb and half in the street. I was greatly relieved to see that he was not only still alive but conscious, although after seeing the look on his face I thought it might be better if he wasn't aware of what was going on after all. Silver was sitting on his heels beside Surge, and had put his windbreaker over him and had taken his hand. Surge was pale, more pale than I thought his coffee-and-cream skin could be, and I was startled to see how hard he was squeezing Silver's hand.

The driver, pale and shaky, had gotten out of his car and was now leaning back in to get his phone. Tori was yelling at him to hurry. When he fumbled with the buttons she grabbed the phone from him and dialed it herself. Another car had stopped nearby, to see what was happening.

I knelt down and gingerly touched Surge's shoulder. "Surge? Just . . . hang in there, okay? You'll be all right. Everything'll be all right."

Surge told me what a terrible liar I was. I tried to smile.

The hardest part was feeling frantic because there was nothing we could do but wait for the ambulance. After what felt like an eternity it came, and so did the police. Silver took his jacket back, and we all backed off when they told us to. When they asked us for Surge's name, I had to shake my head.

"We call him 'Surge.' I'm not sure I know his real name. . . ."

"Anthony." Tori took the cuff of her sweatshirt out of her mouth. "His name's Anthony White."

"Do you know how we can contact his family?" they asked. Tori and I both shook our heads.

The police went on to ask us to explain what had happened. We told them what had just happened with no hesitation, but when they asked why Jake would do something like this, I only said that he'd had a problem with us for awhile, and I wasn't sure why. It was true as far as it went. They questioned us for a long time, and it's all blurred together in my mind. Somehow, we managed to leave out any reference to genetic laboratories and illegal experiments. What I remember most is feeling like we were always one question away from being hauled off, although that was probably more from being paranoid than from any real danger. They must have asked Tori her age, because I do remember her telling them she was eighteen. Every street kid is suddenly eighteen when talking to the police, but with her features Tori could pass for it, and they didn't ask further. I remember telling them where I'd kicked Jake's gun, and I remember the driver admitting that he was going a bit faster than he should have been. I don't remember what his actual speed was when he said it, but I remember thinking that "a bit" was an understatement.

Through it all Silver stood there, first watching the paramedics and then staring at the ambulance as it drove off, and he kept staring down the street long after it was gone. He didn't seem to be aware of anything else, even when the two cops started asking him for his name and what he had to do with this. I finally reached over and touched his shoulder.

That seemed to snap him out of the trance he'd gone into, but it also seemed to snap whatever control he had. He jumped and turned to me, and I was taken aback by how anguished he looked. The next second he took off running. I'd never seen anyone move so fast.

One of the police yelled for him to stop and took off after him, but it wasn't long before the cop came back alone, breathing hard.

"Lost him. Damn, that kid can run," he exclaimed. "He was out of my sight before I knew it."

His partner turned to us. "Why did your friend take off like that?"

"He doesn't deal well with people," I said, nearly as confused as they were.

"Do you have any idea where he's going?" she then asked us. We both said we didn't know. "You said he was the one this guy Jake was shooting at, right? Why?"

"Yeah, I think so," I admitted. "They didn't get along at all. Silver had gotten in his way before, tripped him up, and I guess Jake didn't want it to happen again."

That set off a whole new round of questions. Tori answered most of them, and somehow we avoided mentioning both the lab and the fact that Silver has a (probably illegal) blaster. We did say that the last time they'd met, Silver and Jake had fought, and that Silver had knocked Jake out.

"Uh-hum. And you said Jake was in his twenties, and a little taller than you? Maybe five-ten or so?"

"Yeah," I agreed. Then I realized where she was headed. Besides being only thirteen, Silver barely came past my chin and had a slender build. "Jake was going through drug withdrawal and was angry, so it's not like he was fighting good. He just dove and Silver avoided and hit him in the head." I left out that even on Jake's best day Silver probably would have won.

They finally ended with asking for Silver's real name (they had already asked for ours), which neither of us could give them, and asking us where we were staying.

"We're meeting a friend," I said.

"She's got a place," Tori added. "We haven't seen it yet."

"Well, if that doesn't work out for some reason, you know there's a shelter a few blocks down on Fifth Street," the male cop said (they'd told us their names but I no longer remember what they were). "It's really not a bad place. If you really don't have a home you can go back to, you should keep it in mind." He directed this last mostly at Tori. I know they suspected she was a runaway.

They left then and we started again walking toward the mall. I felt like I was in the middle of a bad drug trip or something and I'd wake up soon. I couldn't accept that any of it had happened. Tori had gone back to biting her cuff.

After a few blocks she took the sleeve out of her mouth and said, absently, "I wonder what Silver's real name is."

"He doesn't have one," I said, not really paying attention.

"Everyone has a name."

"He said he doesn't."

"When did he say that?"

"Couple days ago."

"Oh."

We lapsed back into silence for a block or two. The thought crossed my mind that maybe I should have let Jake finish saying why he was shooting at Silver before I hit him, but I decided I didn't care why.

Tori spoke up again, sounding on the verge of tears. "I had to tell them Surge's real name. I didn't tell them my real last name, but I had to tell them Surge's. But now they'll be able to find out he's only fifteen and they'll put him back in foster care."

I hadn't given them my real name, either. I'd used my mother's maiden name. I supposed I hadn't really needed to, but it had become a habit. "Why'd you have to give Surge's?"

"Allergies. He told me once he was allergic to some medicines. I don't remember what. That was back in fifth grade that he told me."

We both fell quiet again. We were almost to the mall when Tori finally started crying. I led her off to the side of the busy sidewalk and put my arm around her. She buried her face in my shoulder and sobbed for a few minutes. I wondered vaguely why I didn't have the urge to cry, but I supposed that would first take believing the last few hours had really happened.

Tori straightened, sniffed a few times, and wiped her face on her sleeve.

"You okay?" I asked her. She nodded, and we went on to the mall.

Erin was in one of the rest areas, with Jimmy lying with his head in her lap and Jess leaning against her shoulder. "'Bout time you got here," she said, looking up at us with a glare. As soon as she saw our expressions, though, hers changed to worry and apprehension. "What happened? Where's Surge and Silver? They went out to meet you."

Tori knelt down to wake her sister and I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Surge is . . . probably at the hospital by now" I said, surprised by how dead my voice sounded. "I dunno where Silver is. He ran off."

"What happened?" she said again, with more anger this time. "What did he do?"

"Oh, shut up, Erin!" Tori said as she gathered up Jess, who was rubbing her eyes and fumbling with her glasses. "Silver didn't do anything! It was Jake."

"Jake? But Mike said—"

"Yeah, I know," I said. "Looks like they took him back right after that. Let's go, and we'll tell you about it."

We filled her in as we headed for one of the places Tori, Silver, and I had checked out. I still felt like I would suddenly realize it had never really happened after all, and the world would go back to how it had been that morning.

"My God," Erin said when Tori and I had finished. "Christ. Do you think—do you think he'll be okay?"

"Do I look like a doctor?" I said, more weary than irritated. "How should I know? How should I know anything?"

"He was still awake, so that's something," Tori said. She put her arm around Jess and looked at the ground. "I guess."

The squat was an unattached garage behind an old house, a lot that had been somehow missed by the recent waves of development. Part of one wall of the house had collapsed, but the garage still seemed sound. There were some people already there, a woman in her thirties or forties and two teenagers, a boy and a girl. The teens had the look of recent runaways, and they were obviously a couple. The woman didn't seem completely with it, but she was sweet and tried to mother everyone. She had collected a supply of blankets and clothes and made sure we understood that we could use whatever we wanted, and seemed quite upset to see that we were upset about something. We assured her that we would take her up on her offer if we needed, and we were fine, really. She eventually settled back down next to an old battery powered lamp and started singing softly to herself as she worked on something she'd pulled out of her pocket.

I watched everyone else settle in. Erin sat down with Jimmy in her lap, speaking quietly with him. Jess lay down on the floor nearby and looked at the ceiling. Tori started chatting with the teens. After a minute I mumbled something about being right back and stepped outside.

I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes, feeling the cold breeze on my face. Mike got arrested, Surge was in the hospital, and Silver had run off. It seemed like some cosmic force was slowly plucking our group away one by one. I choked on a laugh, and it became a sob. "Fucking hell," I said as tears started to run down my cheeks. It wasn't just the events of that night; everything that had happened within the last few weeks hit me, all at once. Being betrayed at The Pit, Jake, the lab and those two doctors, my arm, suddenly being again without a steady place to sleep and having to worry about how I was going to get my next meal, all of it. I slid to the ground and put my face in my hands. It only made things worse when my left hand went several inches off from where I had intended. I choked back another sob.

"E-Eddie?"

I almost didn't hear it above the street noise and then didn't believe that I had. A few seconds passed before I looked up. Then I let out a startled laugh and pushed myself to my feet. "What the hell are you doing here?" I said as I wiped my face with my sleeve. "Thought I might not see you for awhile. Like last time."

Silver took a drag on his cigarette and walked over. "I-I f-f . . . figured you'd come h-here," he said. "I-i-it was the best of the places we l-looked at."

"You doing okay?" I asked. "You kinda worried me, running off like that. And, y'know, it wasn't the best thing you could've done, considering the cops and all."

I think I heard him sigh, and he shrugged. Then he nodded. "I kn-know. I . . . panicked. S-s-sorry."

"You're the one it might make a problem for," I said, gently. "They might be looking for you now. In fact they probably will be. You're gonna have to be careful if you don't want to get hauled in."

He nodded again, and took a drag on the cigarette. The embers reflected off fresh tear streaks.

The door opened and Tori poked her head out. "Eddie? What's taking—oh!" She stepped outside and pulled the door partway closed behind her. "Hi."

"Hi." Silver folded his arms self-consciously and looked at the ground.

"Where've you been?"

He shrugged, and took another drag. His cap hid most of his face, but I'm sure Tori saw the tear streaks same as I did, especially with the light from inside the garage.

"Why don't you come inside with us?" I said. "It's getting cold out here."

He shrugged again, and nodded. He took a last drag and then dropped the cigarette and ground it out.

"Hey, Silver," Tori said. "You said you'd stick around for awhile, remember?" He looked up at her. On impulse, it seemed, she stepped forward and hugged him. Silver's eyes widened and he froze. At another time it would have been funny. "So stick around, okay?" She gave him a squeeze and then stepped away, and headed back inside. After staying frozen for a few more seconds, Silver wiped his face and glanced at me.

I did my best to smile and nodded for him to go ahead inside.